I was able to wrangle the laptop away from my brother while he's having his cereal this morning...

The weather on the coast has been wonderful.  Right this moment it's cool and foggy and there's a nice little breeze coming in from the ocean.  Last evening Chris and I went for a walk on the beach and had to turn around and come back to the house because it was so cold.  Anyone from Redding would agree it's a wonderfully novel sensation to actually be cold in the summer.  I LOVE it.
Some random stuff:

- Saturday and Sunday there was a Christian Surfing competition at the beach in front of the house.  I had no idea there was such a thing, but it was interesting to watch.  Some of those surfers were hot.
- I got pooped on by  seagull.  Or a flying cow.  I neveractually saw the culprit, but I can assure you it had to be huge.
- The universe has a way of evening things out because one of his brothers/sisters was hit by a car in front of our house.  It was momentarily traumatizing, but somehow the seagull managed to avoid anything more damaging than ruffled feathers.  Those beasts are tough.
- I saw The Incredible Hulk with my brother and brother in law and it was very awesome.  I expected little, and was thus pleasantly surprised.

I'll try and write more later.  My brother is done with his cereal and I have only moments before he takes back his computer.

All is well on my end.  Pass the word.

There was so much stuff going on, all the time.  I need another weekend to replace this one.

...and while I should be in bed sleeping in, I just couldn't today.  I slept really well last night, and I woke up at 5:30 to flashes of light in my bedroom and the sound of thunder in the distance.  I got up, opened all the windows in the house (usually a mistake during a Redding summer), turned off the air conditioning and have been enjoying the morning ever since.  I made myself some pressed coffee and sat down in my favorite spot (the leather club chair I posted a picture of long ago) and read both Friday and Saturday's newpapers.  Once the paper was finished I spent a relaxing half hour loading new music into itunes and sorting my collection, while the breeze blows through the room and big fat drops of rain occasionally pour from the sky for 20 seconds and thunder booms in the distance.  I know lightning in any summer month in Northern California usually means forest fire, but sometimes we're lucky and nothing bad happens.  As soon as the storm passes I'll need to go out and mow my lawn and get some chores done, but for now I think it's okay for me to just relax and listen to music and not do much of anything.

Tonight, dinner at

anita_margarita

...until vacation!  Every year my family rents a beach house on the Oregon Coast and this year we'll be there from Wednesday June 25 until Thursday July 3.  We all really love Lincolny City and the beaches, and there's plenty of things for everyone to do.  This is the house we're staying in this year, and it looks like a real peach!  My brother and sister-in-law and their three girls will be flying here from Phoenix on Monday and then we all leave first thing Wednesday morning.  It's an eight hour drive, but most of it is really pretty, particularly along the coast, and I always love that moment in the trip when you know you're almost there but you can't yet see the ocean.  This is also the first year Chris is coming with us, and I'm really excited about that.  I can't wait to be able to get up early, make some coffee and go for a walk on the beach with him and look for beach glass and shells.  

Just five more days.  I should be able to hang in there until then, right?

If I am sitting at my desk, facing the window away from the rest of the office, with my feet up and a book in one hand and a sandwich in the other AND it's 12:15, I am indeed at lunch.  

It's amazing how many times people come to my desk and say "Are you at lunch?" when I clearly am.  Why not just say "Your personal time isn't important to me, but I'm going through the motions of courtesy.  I'm really here just to ask you to do something that could have waited until 1:00, but that's when I take MY lunch."

Yes, yes, I know I could leave the office to avoid lunchtime interruptions, but why should I have to? 

There aren't enough words to describe the horror.  Behold, the Hello Kitty sewing machine!

Aaaiiiieeeeee!



"I stick my tongue out and mock your hems!  Bleh!  BLEH!"

And he went to Harvard?

It's nice to see that even smart people can be pretty stupid.

Okay, so here's the thing.  My geekness or dorkhood or nerddom is well-established.  I'm not at the level of camping-for-two-weeks-outside-the-theater-because-a-new-Star-Wars-movie-is-being-released, nor have I attended a comic book/sci fi convention (yet), but I embrace my inner nerd and cultivate his growth and thus I have a very high tolerance for poorly-made science fiction movies.

That said, I'm ashamed I allowed myself to sit through all four hours of "The Andromeda Strain" on A&E yesterday.  I knew it was going to be bad when one of the character says "You always bring me such bad tidings" within the first fifteen minutes.  But I stuck it out.  I stuck it out as Benjamin Bratt scowled his way through scene after scene, drinking coffee and looking vaguely pissed off but never actually doing any work.  I stuck it out when the term "Bucky Balls" was bandied about over and over and over.  I even stuck it out when the three hottest characters had a slow motion nude decontamination, and it was literally like watching humans go through a car wash, with the soap and the rinse cycle and everything.  I'm all for gratuitous nudity, but the slo-mo made it look like a high school production.

The movie just kept getting worse and worse and worse.  There were lots and lots of scenes of unnamed characters going bonkers and shooting everyone or accidentally dropping nuclear bombs or lopping off their own heads with a chain saw.  Yes, that actually happened.  And it was less interesting than it sounds.  By the end of the movie, I was desperately rooting for the virus, in hopes the entire population of the film would be killed and my suffering would come to an end.  Yes, I could have simply changed the channel and watched ladies bowling, but in for a penny in for a pound, right?  Plus, there was always the chance of more gratuitous nudity.


Four hours of my life I won't be getting back.  Sometimes my inner nerd is such a jerk.  

Cagliari, Italy 

Sting Ray migration, Key West Florida 

I try not to be whiny and negative in my blog (sometimes I'm even successful), but I have to admit I'm a little cranky lately.  My temper is short, my attitude stinks and if I get one more overhead page at work telling me I've got mail in my box, I'm going to have a psychotic episode.  I tend to let things build up and build up until I'm at the breaking point and then suddenly the person who asks me for paperclips gets covered in molten crazy, their eyes wide with fear as I rant about office supplies and the borrowing thereof.  My reaction will be all out proportion to the situation and once I've calmed down I feel guilty for being such an ass.  This has been going on for a couple of weeks now, and I've already done the Apology Dance for people who love me in spite of my mood.

I've noticed this happens to me every year right about this time, somewhere around the first week of June.  I'm pretty stingy with my vacation hours, and I like to accrue them as much as possible, but my last real break from work was nearly six months ago at Christmas and that's way too long to go without taking some time off.  I did the same thing last year, and the year before that.  Why do I do this?  Can't I just take a few long weekends all year long, being careful to have enough to take some time off at Christmas and for our annual family summer vacation?  

I think I'm wound a little too tight.  This morning I woke up feeling run-down and tired and wanting to just stay in bed and read a book or watch tv all day but I forced myself to get vertical and tumble into the shower.  Several people in my office have had colds lately and I feel like I'm right on the verge of catching it, which certainly is doing nothing to improve my attitude.

I'm totally feeling sorry for myself and indulging my Inner Crank, but sometimes you just can't fight it, you know?  I'm going to have my bad mood, by golly, and I won't be deprived of a full-on snit!

I'll be going to the beach with my family in three weeks, and the closer that gets the more my mood is improving.  Long walks on the beach in the early morning hours will do wonders to restore my soul.

Meanwhile, heads up.

We can call off the Jihad.

When I got in from work this morning (on a Saturday.  I know) there was a note on my doorstep from my neighbor Eric.  [Please see yesterday's post for more information].  I was pretty angry when I found the pile of branches yesterday morning, and I didn't really think there was much that could mollify me at that point.  His note was not only apologetic, but explained what happened in a way that satisfied me and got him off the hook, big time.

Apparently a couple of days ago he was up working on his roof and discovered that my tree had been overhanging his roof (which I can't really see from my property) and had knocked off some tiles in the last big storm.  Since he was already up there and I wasn't home, he cut off the branches causing the problem, pruning them back to the property line.  I think that's totally reasonable.  He was thinking he'd talk to me before he did any more pruning, but tweaked his back and went inside to ice it.  Meanwhile, he forgot to come back outside and pick up the branches and then I found them a couple of days later.  He apologized profusely for (a) not cleaning up the branches, (b) not speaking to me about it in the meantime and (c) for me having to cut them up and dispose of them.  He offered to reciprocate by doing some work for me, but that's really not necessary at this point, and states that he has appreciated our good neighbor relationship and meant no harm.

I am utterly satisfied by his explanation and the resolution.  More importantly, I am relieved that I didn't give in to my anger and drag the branches over to his driveway and then leave a note filled with foul language and a curse upon his family line.  And, I am also relieved that Cindy didn't have to come over and kick his ass.

Peace reigns on Jay Street today.

(Now I have that song stuck in my head)

And if the mockingbird that lives in the tree outside my bedroom window doesn't move along soon, it's going to cause me to have a schism in my brain.  

It sings at 6 pm.  Pretty, right?  It also sings at 9 PM.  Still, kinda pretty.  And it also sings at 11:16 PM, 2:34 AM, 3:13 AM, 4:25 AM, 5:01 AM, 6:23 AM, etc.  All day and all night.

It never.  Stops.  Singing.  Ever.  Seriously. 

When does he eat?  Or sleep?  Or spend quality time with his friends? 

Playing Comic God today, I've created a new superhero.  I think he rocks.



I used this website, and even though it's in Portuguese, if you click on "CRIAR!" at the bottom of the page, you can play around with it and make your own too.  But mine will still totally kick you hero's ass.

I got my "tax relief" check yesterday.  Hooray!  My own money, given back to me!  Money that will be deducted from next year's refund!  Yay!

Georgie Dubya wants us to take this money and go out and spend, spend, spend.  Save the economy, good citizens!  We won't stop this war, so you'd better start buying junk you don't need or we're headed for another Depression!  Hurry!  Go buy shoes and televisions and gum!

I put my money directly into my savings account, where it will sit until it is spent in Italy next spring.  The Italian economy will directly benefit from my tax relief.

My dear friend Fallulah Kimballi has done some hard time in a federal prison.  Without going into too much detail, let me just say that she's the reason your online bank account passwords need to be a combination of letters and numbers.  I don't know too many people who have an entire line of the federal criminal code named after them and while she's not proud of this, it does give her a certain amount of "street cred."

My friend served her 17 months, paid her debt to society and has been mostly rehabilitated.  While she was in prison she met a fancy lady in Cellblock D you may have heard of:  Martha Stewart.  Before Fallulah was released to the halfway house near the end of her sentence, my friend picked up a new skill from M-Stew (as she wished to be called) and consequently discovered she's got a knack for it.  The art of Crochet may once have been the passtime of idle European royalty, but I believe it's poised to sweep the nation, blotting out the abomination that is bedazzling and helping us forget the long, dark nightmare of decoupage.

For my birthday yesterday, Fallulah honored me with two of her first creations.  I don't know what I did to deserve this honor, but the kidney I donated her in 2003 may have something to do with it.

Behold, her masterpieces...

Old Miwaukee.  The drink of kings and queens.

It's my opinion that Fallulah will one day have a Crochet Empire, which should help her on that long road of restitution to the good citizens of the state of Rhode Island.  I'm hanging on to these babies while they appreciate and then sell them for a tidy sum with Sotheby's.  Or eBay.  Whichever.

Indulge me.  August 25th can't come soon enough.

Sock mokeys and cake.  A perfect combo. 

With love from your favorite blue button eyed monkey!

This morning a member of the staff asked me for help with her computer in the office across the street and while I was there I stopped by to check on a piece of equipment that had been malfunctioning the day before.  Just then my boss walked by and asked me to help the staff in that office find a laminator that had been missing for over a year.  It had originally been kept in a specific location and when a bunch of stuff got moved around it was lost.  No one could find it, no one had seen it, no one knew what to do about it.

As my boss was telling me this, I looked down and noticed the laminator in a box on the floor at our feet.  I asked her "Isn't this it?"  We both stared at it for a bit, she heaved a big sigh of exasperation and rolled her eyes and said she would let the staff know where to find it.  After all, it had been missing for a year and was being stored exactly where it should be.  Why would anyone think to look there?

I love it.

1) Happy mother's day to my Mom and any others out there.  Put your feet up and relax; you've earned it.

2) I clearly lack the fundamental ability to cook and this bugs me because I don't know why it should be so challenging.  Tonight I made pasta with a meat sauce and I swear the Normandy landing of World War II involved less hand-wringing and worry.  I made approximately eight pounds more pasta than I needed and the sauce was only two steps above Chef Boyardee, but I am proud of my minor achievement.  I didn't set the dish towels, my hair, the kitchen curtains or the rugs on fire and I technically didn't use every pot I own (yes, I own more than two).  Let's just call this one a win, shall we?

3) I love the end of the day just before and after sunset.  The light is softer, the breeze picks up and everything just seems to take a big breath and relax.  It's easy to start letting go of the stresses of the day.

4) I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but after Tuesday's elections it finally feels like Hillary's time is over.  I like her and I admire her, but she lost fair and square and you can hear the defeat in her speeches, regardless of her brave words.  We have to win in November to try and get this country back on track, and the sooner we concentrate on the fact that John McCain is just too damn old and cranky for the job the better.

5) I saw Iron Man last weekend and for the first time I think I finally understand Robert Downey Jr's appeal.  I've never much liked him because he kind of gives me the creeps, but somehow he pulled me in with this absurd role as a rich engineer who becomes a superhero.  Go figure.  But he really did rock the part.

6) I got a new mattress a couple of weeks ago and I really like it.  It's been a little hard to get used to because the entire feel is different, but I find that I'm sleeping much deeper than I used to.  You can't beat that.

7) Also, you know what can't be beat?  Overstock.com.  Cheap and quick shipping?  Awesome.

I'm a good Citizen.  I vote, I pay my taxes and don't bitch about it, I obey the laws, I work in the public sector for an important cause, I follow the speed limits (+ or - 5mph), I turn off lights in rooms when I leave, etc.  I do all that stuff.  

But I get a jury summons and I become the most whiny petulant brat on earth.  I curse when I open the mail and find that pink ( ! ) and white postcard, and then I grouse and complain about the misfortune that has befallen me and you would think that I had been drafted to serve in some foreign war that will never be won.  The democratic process is very important and I believe in it and everything, but I don't personally want anything to do with it.  The idea of being asked a bunch of questions by lawyers in front of a room full of strangers fills me with dread.

I got called last year and was one of only a handful of people who didn't get questioned by the attorneys, and so I never even got to tell them that I knew six of the ten witnesses to be called and that I worked for the very agency prosecuting the bad guy.  The time before that, there were like a zillion people in the jury pool because it was a HUGE trial for some guy who not only murdered a woman he knew, while he was in jail he and another inmate (who killed TWO people) attacked a young deputy and nearly killed him.  I lucked out in that trial because it was a capital murder case, and people who are against the death penalty in every circumstance are barred from serving on that kind of a jury.  Who knew my Amnesty International membership card would come in handy?

I have to call the courthouse after 5:00 pm today and find out if my group needs to report tomorrow.  I suspect I'm not going to get off the hook and this time tomorrow I will be sitting in a courtroom.